Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
