Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
