dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
