She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
