i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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