if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
