The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
