Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Randomize
