i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
