Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
