I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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