and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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