Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize