Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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