so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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