I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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