how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize