What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
my mouth tastes like poor choices
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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