Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
