So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
