Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
