I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
