I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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