OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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