How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
me + whiskey = a bad person
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
