I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
