when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Be still, my beating vagina.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
