hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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