I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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