I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
