I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
