My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
