The maid of honor just puked.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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