it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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