i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
