i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
