I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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