Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
