You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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