So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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