Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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