arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
It's shark week go big or go home
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
