well I can't set my house on fire every night
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
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