u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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