i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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