I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize