Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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