just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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