did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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