Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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