It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize