This girl is more easily done than said...
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I can't turn off my feet"
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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