So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
