She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
