I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize