that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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