id be glad to
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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