I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize