My brain says no but my pants say off.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
