I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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