I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
