I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Two words: blizzard sex
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
