i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
